January 05, 2008

The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

A friend sent this to me, and I was laughing so hard there were tears rolling down my face .. so of course I need to share it :) Skippy is a real person!

Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it. A couple favorites: 2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. and 191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.

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November 07, 2007

Just Aim for My Head

It's been one of those days, again. I seem to be having a lot of them lately, with trying to cram 36 hours worth of stuff into a 24 hour day. I'm tired, exhausted really, and usually so slaphappy I'm lucky to type anything even vaguely resembling a medical report while I work. The doctors are all starting their reports with "Please bear with me, it's been a long day" type statements.

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October 19, 2007

Medical Transcriptionist Hell

Ya know, I'm pretty sure that the doctor's I've worked for, for the last 13 years, have all been crackheads. For those of ya that don't know anything about medical transcription, I'll give ya a peek into a normal work day -- for my fellow transcriptionists, Jen & Amy, I know y'all will understand perfectly.

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April 02, 2007

A Jarhead of My Very Own

So, there I was ... minding my own business, typing away on the computer, listening to the doctors droning on in my ears, as usual, when I heard *clunk, clunk* from the porch. I stopped for a second and listened, and it stopped.

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January 02, 2007

The Magic (Egg) of Christmas Eve ...

It's been a long time ... but ya know, Christmas has come and gone and of course there's gonna be a story about it. The holidays are when my family here is at their best (or worst, depending on your point of view).

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September 06, 2006

Look out! It's the Fuzz!

I finally remembered to get my registration taken care of in June <insert applause here> ... after getting a ticket for it being expired - but that's not the point, the point is, I got it done.   The cop said that as long as I got it taken care of, he'd drop the ticket .. yay me. 

Well, then, my driver's license expired in July and needed to be renewed, so off to the DMV I went.  I went to the first desk and told the lady that I needed my license renewed, and the address changed on it since I'd moved.  She handed me a number and told me where to wait.  I sat there for an hour, my little papers clutched in my fist, waiting for my number to be called .... finally they hollered for me and I gave the sourpuss behind the counter my paperwork, license, etc., and told her that I needed the address changed as well.  She snarled a bit and told me that I had to have proof of residence before they could do that.  Nice of the first lady to tell me this before I wasted an hour of my life listening to some guy behind me bitching about how long he had to wait.   So I mentioned that this was information that would have been useful AN HOUR AGO ... and went home.  It was too late by then to go back, so I had to go back another day.   A few days later, off to the DMV again .. got the number, waited the billion years, got to the counter and handed over my license, proof of residence, the little crumpled paper from the DMV saying that my license needed to be renewed, a note from my mother ..... the woman entered all the information into the computer and said,

"did you know that your license is suspended?"

*blinks*  Um sure, yeah .. I come to the DMV to sit around because I LIKE to even though I know it's a complete waste of my time.  .... DUH .. NO I didn't know it was suspended, what the hell?

So, she looks around a little while and says it was suspended for an unpaid citation *thinks*  oh shit!  The expired registration ticket.  I got it taken care of and forgot to tell the cop *mutters*  So, the lady says I have to take care of the ticket, then call the DMV main office and get my license reinstated, then will have to GO BACK to the local DMV and get it renewed ...... yay.

I came home, called the police station to find out what to do about this ticket, explained what happened .. basically that I'm flighty and had forgotten to let the cop know that I took care of the registration, license is now suspended, and need to know what the ransom is and where to pay it.  The girl I spoke to said she'd call me back the next day and let me know.   So, she calls back, says the cop said just to drop the ticket, as he said he would in the beginning.  (I love southern WV cops, I haven't paid a ticket in years lol). 

I called the DMV, they weren't nearly as pleasant .. had to pay the ransom to get it reinstated, but at least I didn't have to pay the ticket :-)  She said I'd have to come to the main office, which happens to be 2 hours away, to pay it.  I asked her how the hell I was supposed to do that since my license is SUSPENDED.   So, she agreed to let me mail it in.  I had to wait for about 3 weeks to get the stupid letter saying that my license was reinstated to take to the local DMV, but finally got it.

So, Saturday, while running errands with Kenzie, the dreaded blue lights showed up in my rearview mirror .. I cursed under my breath .. musta been speeding.  I have a real problem remembering which zones are what around here 'cause I don't usually run the main streets .. try to stick to the backroads to avoid the traffic.   I pulled off to the side and waited.  Barney Fife marched up to my window, looking all official and constipated and barked

"License, Registration and Insurance!" 

Amazingly, all the paperwork was where it belonged, and I handed it over, and gave him the best confused look I could muster (which usually isn't terribly hard 'cause it's a natural look for me) .. He looked in the backseat at Kenzie and kept barking.

"How old is your daughter here?"

I told him she was 8-1/2 and took my sunglasses off ('cause all of the cops ~and most men in general~ I've ever known on a more personal level always said I have bedroom eyes and that it's hard to stay mad at me when they look me in the eye ... and I've been doing a running experiment whenever I get pulled over) .. He looked back at me and kinda softened a little and said,

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Now, I'm not stupid .. I never admit anything, 'cause I'm not about to accidentally tell him something he doesn't know already.   So, I kind of shrugged a little and looked really confused and waited for him to tell me how much over the limit I was going.   He motioned to my inspection sticker and it clicked before the words came out. 

"Your inspection sticker is 4 months expired." 

dammit!  Forgot all about it .. or I wouldn't have been running around on the main roads!

He took all my stuff and went back to his car.  I sat there, muttering under my breath, kicking myself for not sticking to the back roads.  He -finally- came back and handed me all my stuff, being all nice now after doing his Barney Fife impression earlier.  He then informed me, nicely, that my license is expired .. 'cause after waiting forever for the letter to arrive, I hadn't had time to go back to the DMV yet .. and had also forgotten about that.  ARGH! 

I explained to him what had happened with it being suspended for the unpaid registration citation, etc., which most people would probably not admit to a cop pulling them over for an expired inspection sticker lol, but I've found that when you're female and you talk really fast and kinda babble while looking pathetic that this works on cops and they feel sorry for ya 'cause you're a girl *grins*  It worked, and he smiled, made a notation on the ticket, and said I'd have 10 days to take care of it all and he'd drop the ticket.

So, I have written very large sticky notes for myself and placed them strategically all over the house and car to get these things taken care of, as well as getting the car fixed because the drive shaft is about to fall off and can't wait any longer ... and then I'll be clear until next year when my registration is due again.   I never remember until I get pulled over for it being expired 'cause for some reason, the notices NEVER come in the mail *sighs*  I so love having a swiss cheese memory. 

September 03, 2006

Just a little update .. .

Well, it's been a while, eh?   Let's see what's going on here.  I think we've finally settled into the house, the boxes are all unpacked, it's very "lived in" ... and it's only taken 8 months.  That's some kind of record for us.   We had a hectic summer .. but good.  Kenzie went to camp, went on vacation with the grandparents to Niagra Falls -- from what I gather she was a bit underwhelmed.  They went for the boat ride behind the falls, and Kenz refused to wear the rain poncho thing that they gave her .. she said she wouldn't get wet.  I was dumbfounded and asked if she'd actually SEEN the falls.  They assured me she had, and said that she was soaked in a matter of seconds lol

They stopped at a science center in Erie, I believe, and she loved that.  I heard more about that than the Falls lol.   She was back and forth most of the summer, mostly not here, as is the norm for summertime.  I'm coming to hate summer.  :p

I worked, as usual, while she was gone, put the house together a little at a time.  It's a work in progress, but coming along nicely.  I've decided finally what to do with the yard, so will be working on that a bit during the winter so that it will be nearly done by summer .. I have the feeling that next summer my yard is going to be one of the hotspots in the neighborhood ;-)   Kenzie made a couple friends, one little girl lives just 3 houses down from us.  Her mom is my age and is a hoot!   She's got a zoo down there .. 5 kids, 2 horses, 3 dogs, a few cats and some birds  ... Kenzie and Scarlett get along famously, and I have the feeling that we're gonna be seeing a lot of each other for several years to come :)   They raise Cockatiels and told Kenz when they have babies they're going to give her one ... I'll have to thank them properly *rolls eyes*

Kenzie's puppy, Snuggles, has gone on to doggy heaven *sighs*  It was very sad, but Kenzie has come through it very well.  I found a new puppy for her and she's done very well with her, I'm very proud of her *smiles*  The new pup is named Mini-Mutt .. another terrier mix, looks a bit like a Schnauzer.  She's a bit wild, but not nearly as hyper and "in your face" as Snuggles was. 

The cats have decided they like the outdoors ...and Bow still hates me.  The trauma of moving was too much for him, it seems :-(  He glares at me a lot and talks to me kinda nasty.  We still have long conversations, but they're not very nice anymore.  More like psychological warfare than anything else.  He has yet to come into the main house of his own volition.  He prefers to hang out in the yard and just give me nasty looks through the windows -- the look that says, "You make me come in the house and I'll scratch your eyes out while you sleep."  I kinda just leave him alone. 

Over the course of the winter and into the spring, we'll be collecting several things for the hugemongous back yard, so that the kids will have plenty to do .. soccer goals, volleyball net, trampoline, pool, sandbox, etc.  This not only gives the kids more to do .. but me less yard to mow LOL :-)  I'm sure y'all are on the edge of your seats at the news. 

Anyway!  Kenz is growing up so fast .. getting too big for her britches, both literally and figuratively.  She's taken to calling me "Woman" at times .. which threw me for a little while, but I finally figured out what was going on. *nods solemnly* 

She came out from her shower the other day and looked at me very seriously .. I was wondering what was going on, figured she flushed something down the toilet or stopped up the bathtub ... but, she looked me square in the eye and said,

"Mom, I had a little pain right here in my chest,"  and pointed to the center of her chest.  I looked at her kinda funny, wondering where this was going. 

She leaned in, terribly serious-like, and said, "I think I've got puberty." 

I blinked a couple times ... and burst into laughter.  She looked a little disgusted and went to her room.

That would explain the attitude ....

if she weren't only 8. 

Ah well, just a little update on us .. I'll blog more when my brain is a bit more functional ;)

June 02, 2006

Oooo donuts!

Y'all ever have one of those days where you can't focus on any one thing long enough to accomplish anything .. even the simplest of tasks? I've been having that kind of day ... for about *looks at her watch* a year now, and it's getting progressively worse. I wonder sometimes if I might be losing my mind ..

A normal day for me (as if anything about me or my life is "normal," .. but lets pretend it is) goes kinda like this --

I drag my butt out of bed, get kenzie off to school, and start working, trying not to fall asleep because of the lovely monotone that the physician is using to dictate. The longer I listen, the less I understand, and the more I'm swearing at the doctor -- and I realize that I've let my blood sugar bottom out because I haven't eaten.

My mind has, by this point, gone out to the store for a quart of milk without me.

So, I think .. food! that will help. I dash to the kitchen to forage for breakfast, but I have to wash a plate first, 'cause I didn't get to the dishes last night. So, after a half a sinkful of dishes are done, I realize I'm nearly out of dishwashing liquid and start a grocery list. It's silly to write one thing on the list, so I look around to see what else I need at the grocery ... and leave the list on the table, half written because the table is cluttered and I'll probably lose the list, so I clean it off and what do I find there but one of kenzie's socks. So, off to her bedroom I go to put the sock in the hamper, where there is a huge pile of laundry that needs to be done ..

so, I grab the hamper and go back to the laundry room with it, fill up the washer and I'm out of detergent, so I start a list of stuff I need and take it to the table, which is now clean .. and wow, there's already a list there. So I add detergent to the list and throw away the second list I've started, The trash is full so I have to take it out to the garage. On the way to the garage, I notice empty dog dishes, which of course need to be filled .. so I do that too and then remember suddenly that i was working and go back towards the computer, stopping to pick up a piece of trash that is on the coffee table, which needs to be dusted, and then of course the floor needs to be swept ... ooo work! So back at the computer, I type some more, get a few more reports done and remember, ooo I need to eat still, 'cause by now I'm really nasty grouchy from the drop in blood sugar and people have called and interrupted me and gotten their heads bitten off, chewed up and spit out which, while satisfying, really doesn't fill you up *grins*

So, off to the kitchen and I'm just gonna grab a piece of bread, because that's not terribly distracting and I can make it back to the computer without wandering off again. Ok, now I'm focused, I can do this! The bread helped, so my mind is calming down a little .. sorta. I'm zipping along with work, the doctors are a pain in the butt, but aren't they always? The patient drinks 4 cans of caffeinated soda a day .. hmm, I didn't get a drink, no wonder my mouth is so dry, but I can wait. The patient's therapy included relaxation techniques. She was told to imagine herself beside a waterfall *squirm -- did I use the bathroom yet today?* .. The patient was intoxicated (I could use a stiff drink ... too bad I quit drinking years ago ... a drink? hey I don't have a drink and I'm parched) -- ok that's it. I log out to run down the store, 'cause I'm out of soda and the caffeine would probably do me good. I'm just going for soda .. that's it. 10 minutes tops.

I run out to the garage .. the lawnmower is parked behind the blazer .. so I have to move that out by the tomato plants which need water ... but they can wait dammit, I have to go to the store. Why am I going to the store? I figure I'll remember when I get there ... so I run down the street, go in the store .. and its hot and i'm thirsty ..oh! soda, that's why I'm here. Grab the soda .. and ooooo donuts!!

But I don't need donuts, I had bread .. I'm good.

I run back home, park the blazer in the garage, which is a friggin mess, but it can wait .. pass the tomato plants, which still need water, but they can wait too, 'cause I have my soda and who cares if the tomato plants are thirsty, I have to frickin work .. and I go back to the computer, where the screen is dusty and fingerprinted .. so I clean that and think how dirty the car windows were, but i'll clean them later.

--- The patient has a court date for a DUI --- ... wow, it's a good thing I don't drink anymore *pats herself on the back* ... and for driving on a revoked license.

(hm, my registration is expired, I need to take care of that, but will do that later and leave myself a cryptic note about it, which will disappear because i'll never remember what i meant by "do reg" and throw it away).

I finish working by some small miracle and wait for kenzie to get home from school 'cause we have to go to Walmart (I've forgotten already that my registration is expired, which I've already gotten pulled over for once). While I'm waiting I grab the mail, where I have a notice that my car insurance needs to be renewed soon, but I'm going to switch insurance companies because this one is too flippin high and I found a cheaper one somewhere .... just have to remember who it was, so I toss the notice.

Kenzie bounces off the bus and we head to walmart .. When we get there, I have no idea what I need, 'cause the list is on the frickin table still .. So I'm wracking my brain (which never really came back from going out for a quart of milk earlier) trying to remember why I'm there and what it was that I really needed.

Ok, stop .. breathe ..what did you need?

dishwashing liquid
toilet paper?

yep, I need those .. so off we go. But I need dog food .. and I'm starving 'cause I had a piece of bread at 9 this morning and it's now 4:30 .. so we go grab a frozen pizza for dinner 'cause I don't know what else we needed 'cause the list is not with me ... it's off somewhere with my brain probably.

did I ever start the washer? Or did I need detergent?
No, I would remember if I needed detergent .. surely I started the washer while I was in there. I really think I need to see a doctor for this.. maybe it's just stress, or depression, or early Alzheimer's, or an aneurysm ... it's not normal to be so scatterbrained at my age .. is it?

so we came for pizza *nods*

ooo ... donuts!

no, don't need donuts, 'cause I got soda this morning, and had bread *nods again* So, we have pizza and soda .. what else did I need?

So, we leave .. with the pizza, which was not on the list at all - and no dishwashing liquid, toilet paper, dog food or toothpaste. My whole day is like this ... every day, so much to forget, so little time --

At the end of the day, the grocery list is still on the table, underneath whatever happens to clutter it, the laundry is still in the washer (which never got turned on because I had no detergent), the dog food is almost gone, the dishes are not done, the tomato plants have not been watered, the car windows are still dirty, the registration is still expired, whether or not I have insurance on the car is iffy 'cause I can't remember who i was going to switch to and my current policy expires soon, the garage door is standing open because I was going to mow the lawn before I put the lawnmower away, but forgot as soon as I stepped into the house, the carpets need to be vacuumed, we have to use a vice to squeeze the last of the toothpaste out of the tube, because I forgot to get it, we're down to the last quarter of a roll of toilet paper, and I have no dishwashing liquid and I have accomplished exactly .. nothing.

I figure I'll just head to bed and get some sleep .. 'cause tomorrow has got to be bett.......... oooo donuts! Hope my brain gets back with the milk soon.

November 24, 2005

Thanksgiving Enlightenment

Thanksgiving has come and gone ... and I think I may have recuperated now.

It started at the beginning of the week, nobody can ever decide what time we should all congregate at my mother's for dinner. We have to wait for the sun to go down because Jack spends most of the day in the woods, wandering his acreage in search of the ever-elusive deer. Every time any of us talked for the entire week we had to ask "what time is dinner?" We finally decided on 6, which is when we normally go, but it has to be a week long discussion every year, it's tradition *grins*

So, the feast was to begin at 6, which means that we all show up at around 5 or so to "help" ..which, loosely translated, means that we will all show up at 5, mill around the kitchen with our fingers in everything and be a general nuisance so that dinner starts at 6:30 instead of 6 ... 'cause we're helpful like that.

Kenz had spent Wednesday night with my grandparents so she could spend some time with the new puppy that they got for her and I could get some work done before dinner on Thursday. I showed up at mother's around 5:15 or so, empty handed because when I asked what I could bring I was told to bring myself and I thought I could handle that very nicely because it didn't require me to cook anything, not that I mind cooking, I love it .. but I've been a little under the weather all week with the screwball temperature changes from sunny to cold to snowing to sunny to freeze-yer-ass-off, so I didn't argue.

I assigned myself to keep the dog busy .. after snatching a couple green beans out of the pot and nearly having my hands smacked for being a nuisance *grins* ... so I curled up in the corner of the loveseat in the dining room/living room where I could still chat with everyone .. and hung out with Lucky, since we were both banned from the kitchen area. We had a nice talk (me and the dog) .. it went kinda like:

"Lucky, be still if you want to be petted, you're too big to be in my lap"


"You know you're not supposed to lick people .. and quit trying to get in my lap"

*lick, scramble halfway onto the couch*

"Lucky, you moron, stay down before Jack sees you or we'll both be in trouble"

*lick, watch for Jack, drapes her 90 pounds over my lap*

"Fine, just be still"

*lick, lick, lick*

"ack! dog germs!"

... until my grandparents showed up with the munchkin, then I was reprimanded for "letting" her on the couch, which I promptly blamed on her, of course, and then Lucky was banned to the corner because she goes a little nuts when my grandfather and the kiddo are around, she loves them both and her tail goes a little wild ... great for clearing the table, but not so good for the dishes. Jack stood guard as they came in the house, Kenzie and Lucky had a stand off .. she froze in the doorway, bracing herself for the lick-monster attack, but Lucky was kept at bay for once and Kenz pounced on me and started telling me about how well trained her puppy is because 1 out of every 20 times that she says "sit" the puppy does it.

We all settled in, everybody talking at once, as usual, and we started piling the table with enough food for 10 armies. My mom did the turkey in her humongous crock pot this year, so when we tried to take it out and put it on the platter, the bones literally fell out of it. Lucky helped with the clean up of the bit that fell on the floor .. and I ran interference for her so nobody noticed *grins* ... after a few more spills, because we're all so terribly coordinated, we settled around the table.

My mom set the turkey in front of my stepfather for him to carve, after a few stabs, Psycho style, into the bird, he announced that the knife was too dull, even though the meat was literally falling off what was left of the bones, and we proceeded to pass the rest of the dishes around the table, until they all got jammed up where he was sitting because he was carving and not passing and going on in a constant monologue about how it was a conspiracy and that we didn't want him to eat. We finally got his plate filled and continued with our dinner, amidst all the laughter that usually accompanies our gatherings.

The cameras were out, pictures being taken, all of us still chattering and being generally silly together ... and while one sister was trying to take pictures, Jack was getting in every one of them in some fashion, giving my mother rabbit ears, leaning in at the last second with a goofy grin, and when he wasn't fast enough to get his head in the picture, he would just stick an elbow or hand into the shot.

After dinner, my stepfather and grandfather retreated to the family room .. probably because they felt so outnumbered lol .. and the rest of us cleaned up the kitchen and put the dining room back together. All the womenfolk settled around the table, talked and laughed .. and for some reason the conversation turned to my middle sister who was very little when I was in high school (she's 14 years younger than me). My mom came to pick me up from school one day and while they were waiting, my little sister was watching all the kids milling around the buses outside .. doing what most hormonal teenagers do .. making out. My grandmother was cracking up as she reminded my sister about how, a few days after that, my sister had gone to kiss my mother goodnight ... with her mouth wide open .. and when my shocked mother had said "what was THAT?" ... my sister informed her that's how the kids were kissing at the school.

At that point, from the loveseat in the corner, we heard a tiny voice say, very matter of factly:

"THAT would be a French kiss .. you know ... tongue to tongue"

and the conversation stopped. For about 30 seconds, there was silence .. broken only by my 7 year old's voice, continuing to enlighten us, oblivious to the fact that we were all shocked into silence.

It got a little weird after that with all the gasping and my grandmother looking like she might kick the bucket right there and grilling her to find out WHERE she'd heard that .. and after silently thanking God that she said her friend at school told her and my name wasn't mentioned at all ... I came out of the hole I'd dug under the table and decided it was probably a good time to go home .. to save her before she decided that our family needed to be enlightened on any other subjects, 'cause ya just never know what might come out of her mouth once she starts talking ..... so I could remind her about family safe subjects and what should only be talked about with me .. and definitely NOT with her grandparents 'cause we don't want to give them a coronary.

And, that brought our Thanksgiving to a close *laughs* Never a dull moment... and always enlightening.

November 13, 2005

Houses, Vacuums, and Airborne Escorts

Kenzie and I spent the day together yesterday and had a good time, I'm thinking we'll make it a weekly thing .. just a day out together, out of town, whatever we're doing. We spent about 9 hours in the "city" (yeah it's only got a population of 19,000, but when ya come from a town of 2500, you're allowed to call that a city)

Still on the house hunt .. the last one was a winner lol. It was a very lonnnngggg house, very nice inside, but the layout was very trailer-ish and the owners weren't big on privacy at all, there are no doors on most of the rooms, so you can see from the living room, through the kitchen, dining room, and into the master bedroom. I asked about the lack of doors.

The guy says "Well, it was just me and my wife, so why hang doors?


I said "oh, so you never had much company, eh?"

He looked a little confused, so I let it go.

My dad described it as "like a trailer, but without the privacy," which was a pretty fair assessment lol.

My dad and I both grew up in little tiny trailers, and were sufficiently traumatized by them during childhood, so we kinda shy away from trailer-type dwellings, even though the newer ones are a helluva lot nicer than the ones we lived in.

The one I grew up in was pretty horrifying, to say the least. My mom, stepfather and I moved here from the Chicago 'burbs when I was about 8. We had a bi-level house there with a full basement that was kinda nice. When we moved here, we bought a 64 acre farm and a 12 x 70 trailer, just to do us until they built the house. Well, the house was 11 years in coming, so I spent most of my growing up years in that little tiny metal hallway. "Life in the long hallway" we called it.

It was the loveliest two-tone blue and white on the outside *gags* the insulation had settled in the bottom of the wall, so it was nearly impossible to keep it warm in the winter. We had a wood-burning stove in the living room, which, consequently, was not safe to lean against while trying to get warm, I can't even count the number of times I burned my ass on that thing 'cause my mind wandered and I leaned back against it. The bedrooms were never warm and when the wind blew, which it did often on the top of that mountain, I was pretty sure that it was gonna pick up the entire house and send it to Oz .. which actually might have been kinda cool, but I'm pretty sure that the Lollipop Guild woulda irritated me after a while.

To get to our farm, ya have to go a mile, uphill, on a 1-lane (in most places, half a lane in other places) dirt and gravel road with a mountain on one side and a progressively larger drop on the other side, so not a lot of room for error. When the long hallway was delivered, they got it about halfway up the road and then had to round a curve and dumped it in the creek.

But, anyway, I digress. So, Kenzie and I had a good day .. we took pictures of houses for daddy, lots and lots of pictures, I'm going to be a photographer by the time this is finished, which will be a good thing .. 'cause I pretty well suck at it right now and he teases me 'cause I never get the shots he wants lol ..

We had a couple hours to kill between houses, so we went to the pet store and played with the dogs, one of our favorite pasttimes, and the workers there love it. We used to be on a first name basis with all of them, they loved to see us coming lol. As soon as we'd hit the door they'd ask how many we wanted to play with that day 'cause the puppies need to be socialized and loved on even if people have no interest in buying them :) and we are more than happy to oblige.

Kenzie fell in love with a little Jack Russell .. and he was just a cutie, just old enough to be weaned and so playful. He tried to eat my hair and my shoelaces and gave us lots of puppy kisses and then to show us exactly how excited he was to be played with .. he tinkled on the floor, which Kenz thought was highly amusing. Every time I picked him up, he would roll over on his back and let me hold him like a baby, wiggling and nipping at my curls the entire time. When I put him down, he'd go for my shoe laces ... and when Kenz giggled he'd go after her shoes.

We drove around for a bit after that and I had to call about an account I have that was a bit delinquent to let them know that I was making the payment within the hour. I'm used to them knowing who I am when I call from my home phone, because it comes up and they have your account pulled up before they even answer the phone. I didn't think about them being clueless 'cause I was calling from the cell .. so I just started babbling to the unusually bubbly girl that answered.

"Hi, I was just calling to let ya know that the payment is being made today, do you need me to call in a confirmation?"

she paused a second and said, "yeah if ya could, that would be great."

I said ok, I would do that and was about to hang up when she said, "oh, could you give me your home number so I can note your account?"

I laughed and said, "oh, sure, I'm sorry, I'm used to you guys being psychic and knowing who I am." She giggled and I gave her my number. She asked me to verify my name 'cause she had 2 in the system. I don't know why it always catches me off guard that there would be 2 people with my name .. it's not like it's an uncommon name, but anyway, it did and I laughed and said, "ohh, you have 2 of me? cool!"

she giggled again and I verified the address and told her just to put DITZ next to my name so she'd know it was me .. and she cracked up. Through her giggling she said, "I have to say *giggle* this is an attempt *more giggling* to collect a debt and any infor...."

I cut her off and said, "you know you aren't very intimidating when you're laughing."

she dissolved into laughter and couldn't finish what she was saying, so I said, "you better straighten up or you're not gonna be able to intimidate anyone else for the rest of the day."

She lost it. I just laughed and gave her the information she needed and was getting ready to hang up again and she said "WAIT!!!"

I stopped and said .. "yessss? you're ready to intimidate now??!" She started giggling and said .. "no, I just have to say thank you" then she started giggling again and hung up. *grins* she was fun, I liked her .. poor girl was probably no good for the rest of the day.

After that, we went to one of the car lots and checked out cars. The sales guys always think I'm too picky. I can't imagine why.

So, we rolled into the lot, parked and hopped out. The sales guys were terribly busy, they'd drug their rocking chairs out into a sunny spot on the lot and were rocking and watching the cars go by on the road. We strolled across the lot ... well, I strolled, Kenz bounced around like she was popping caffeine pills.

One of the sales guys noticed us and wandered across the lot, hollering from halfway across it

"So, how are y'all today?"

I said, "We're alright, I see y'all are workin' like dogs today."

He grinned that lazy southern grin and said, "yeah, we moved the chairs from up there *motions to the building and back to the sunny spot* to all the way over there today. We're beat. What can I do for ya today?"

I grinned. "Well, I'll tell ya what I need and you see what you can come up with."

He gave me a cocky "I-can-do-anything-'cause-I'm-a-car-salesman-and-you're-a-girl" grin and said .. "fire away!"

I grinned bigger. "Alright, I need a small, fuel-efficent car, no trucks, preferably 4-door, must be a 5-speed, I will NOT take an automatic, it cannot be any older than 2000, I need shoulder strap belts in the back seat, it can't cost me an arm and a leg and my first born child for insurance."

His grin lessened .. and I said, "oh, and the payment needs to be around $200"

He stopped grinning and said, "Now you're just being picky."

so I said .. "you want me to tell you what color I want too?"

He ignored that and wandered aimlessly through the lot while "hmm'ing" a lot and finally stopped next to a 2003, 2-door, Ford Escort.

He said, "I think this is the only 5-speed on the lot," then he recovered nicely and asked if I'd like to take it for a test drive, so I said,

"yeah, sure," knowing that I would most likely NOT take it because I had failed to mention that I prefered a Honda or Saturn *grins* (I have no idea why they think I'm being picky, it's not like I asked for specific detailing or anything)

anyway, he ran and got the key and asked if I knew my way around the city. I managed to refrain from saying, "why yes, probably better than you do," and he set us loose.

I wonder about the car lots, they just let anyone take the cars out. It's a good thing I'm a careful driver *beams*

We took off out of the lot, zipping up and down the mountain roads, back roads, side roads, and drove all over the place. We might have been airborne at one point, I'm not sure. Kenzie was loving it, she squealed and giggled and thought it was great. It was actually a nice little car, but insurance companies don't like a lot of the newer Fords & Chevys and want you to sign contracts in blood and promise your first born to insure them, because they are cracker-boxes and cost a ton to repair when they're wrecked. We spun around town for about 30 minutes or so and then reluctantly returned the car.

He asked what we thought of it and if we'd like to see about buying it. I once again bit my tongue to keep from saying, "are you kidding? You want me to buy a car that you let people like me test drive without supervision?" *grins*

After we left the lot, we went to the next house and took a bazillion pictures (the one like a trailer, but without the privacy). Then went to Wally World for the 5 mile jaunt through the SuperStore, Kenzie talked to my friend, Brian, on the phone while we were on our way, she giggled and relayed messages from him to me and me to him, lots of "tell your mom to hush, we're talking" and "you tell him to bite me" going back and forth, she loves talking to him, he keeps her giggling. He's another story entirely though.

We finally got where we were going and ran in to buy a new vacuum 'cause mine keep breaking. It probably has something to do with the fact that I shed like a dog and my hair is constantly getting twisted around the beater bar and the belts snap and smoke rolls out of the thing and it's just ugly and then it takes 40 minutes to fix the vacuum before I can use it and by then I don't have time to vacuum 'cause I'm running late, as usual. So, I also got the new little Swiffer Carpet Flick to pick up all my shedded hair before vacuuming so I don't break the new vacuum within a week, .. which Kenzie danced around the house for 20 minutes while I put it together 'cause she wanted to flick the carpet.

The new vacuum had to be put together and I almost had to read the instructions, which was really bugging me. Who reads the instructions? They're usually the first thing to go in the trash in this house, 'cause they are the absolute LAST resort .. and then we wonder why we have so many "spare parts" lol ..

so, anyway, 3 screws, lots of parts, a lot of laughing from Rory on the phone 'cause I was bitching about maybe having to read the instructions (and he said that's a guy thing, not a girl thing, to not read instructions), and a bit of cursing later, I got it put together without any bodily injuries ... and I just sat back for most of the rest of the night admiring my new vacuum.

I suppose I should turn it on and use it .. but it's so nice and shiny, I hate to mess it up *grins*

So, anyway, that was my weekend .. and now, I'm off to begin my work week, so I can afford the next vacuum, because it's inevitable that I will demolish this one eventually lol

November 02, 2005

Haunted House

lookie here! 3 days in a row I've had a chance and the brain power to sit down and write .. that's amazing! well, the brain power part is amazing anyway *grins*

Amidst school, packing, work, and general insanity, we've been looking for a house lately. You see, I decided during the summer that we were getting out of this apartment before I am forced to do bodily harm to someone .. nobody in particular, just someone .. 'cause this place is hot cramped and crowded and hot and small and loud and did I mention I'm not sure who designed this apartment, but I'm pretty sure they were sadists.

It's set up so that, for the tenant's convenience and comfort, there is absolutely no air circulation. No way to get a breeze without running through the apartment, which just makes ya hotter actually, not to mention that ya tend to run into stuff when ya do that 'cause it's so cramped in here, not really a lot of running space. It's been pretty chilly here for the last couple weeks, but I can't turn the heat on in the mornings, 'cause it's hot water heat .. which really sticks around even after you turn it off .. and I only need it for about an hour before I start getting the heat from downstairs, then of course in the evenings when everyone comes home and turns on their heat, I get it from all sides and it's sweltering hot in here. So, when it's 30 degrees out, I have the windows open and the fans on, trying to cool it down in here.

Anyway! So I decided we are leaving, gave myself a time limit and made the announcement to the cats .. 'cause there was nobody else here .. WE ARE LEAVING NO LATER THAN MID-DECEMBER! and i shook my fist for emphasis.
The cats yawned and looked terribly unimpressed.

So I set out in search of a house .. not another apartment, a house, with a yard and space and air circulation. After about a month and a half, I found one. It's in a good location, quiet neighborhood, priced right, huge yard, etc etc and I was all excited 'cause we were gonna be able to be out by mid-November, a whole month earlier than I'd planned!

The lady told me that they were going to do a bit of work on the house before they rented it out, 'cause they'd just bought it, and she'd let me know when it was done. Perfect!

So, a month passed .. and no word. So, I called her just to check in and she told me that it was going to take 5 months, at least, because they'd gotten in there and decided that it needed more work. That was also fine, I was willing to wait for 5 months as long as I knew it was mine.

Then she tells me how 25 people are interested in this house and for me to just keep calling to see when it's done .. which tells me that she's telling everyone the same thing and whoever calls first after it's finished will get the house. So now, besides being a little disappointed .. I'm more than a little pissed off because I've wasted a month that I could have been looking for something else. That was information that she could have shared with me earlier ... but oh well.

So .. once again I'm searching. Then ... while talking to the best daddy in the world one day (that would be my daddy .. not yours) he says that he and my favorite stepmonster have decided to retire here .. yay! Then he says .. that they'll buy a house here and I can rent from them until they decide to move in a few years when my stepmonster retires .. *more YAY's, cheering and a happy dance around the living room ... hoping no one can see in the windows*

So we started looking for houses, got a realtor involved, and Kenzie and I borrowed grandpa's truck and went to look at a couple houses. The first house was great! Huge yard, 3 bedrooms, lots of storage space, and some gorgeous knotty pine panelling and hand made shelving out of the same knotty pine, in a convenient area, quiet but not far from town, and good air circulation.... I wasn't sure I'd ever get kenzie out of there. She laid claim to one of the bedrooms immediately ... I half expected her to erect a flag and claim it in the name of Kenziedom.

The second house was .. well, how can I describe it ...


It was tiny, the floors were slanted, the realtor said .. OMG look the bathtub is on a hill! It had the most horrendous carpets I have ever seen, not just the shape they were in, but the colors too .. I'm hoping someone that was colorblind lived there. They would all have to be ripped out and replaced .. immediately. The windows needed to be replaced about 50 years ago, there was no yard, a briar patch behind and beside the house, horrible.

So we left, quickly.

On the way home, we made a quick stop for some burgers and then headed back down the mountain, fleeing from that house. A friend called to see how it was going. So, while juggling the phone, driving a truck I'm not used to (an automatic .. how can ya have a truck in WV and it be an automatic? there's not even a gun rack! I really need to talk to my grandfather about this .. that's just un-west virginian). So anyway, I'm juggling a burger, the phone, trying to drive the truck on a twisty turny road .. and telling Bri about the houses (he also drives a huge big manly truck that has a wussy automatic transmission and no gun rack .. what a dork *grins* but we love him anyway).

"So the first one was great, big, lots of space, yard, knotty pine panelling (yes I'm obsessed, I've never seen anything so pretty) nice kitchen space and right out in the open so I'd be more likely to keep it cleaned up (long story, suffice it to say I hate cleaning the kitchen and mine is hidden from view so .. come to your own conclusions) blah blah lots of praise, etc."

During the conversation, kenzie's munching on chicken tenders and eavesdropping, as usual .. asking a million questions about who's on the phone and if she can talk to them. I continued talking ..

"the second places was horrible! omg you wouldn't believe this house. It's tiny, nasty, in a crappy area, the road it's on nearly swallowed the truck, it looked like a pothole, but I think it was alive. The house was awful, tiny little rooms *kenzie is still chattering and listening* .. the windows are bad, the carpets gave me a headache just to look at and the place is being haunted by the ghost of little kitty pee-a-lot, the bathtub is on an incline .. not even a little one, it's really noticeable ...blah blah blah"

I notice suddenly that my daughter is in hysterics, she's got her mouth full of chicken and can barely breathe because she's laughing so hard. I got her to swallow what was in her mouth and take a drink, she's still laughing, tears rolling down her cheeks, gasping out the words "little kitty pee a hahahahahahahahahahaha" it was that little kid laugh, when they run out of breath, eyes watering, face red, gasping in the air just to dissolve into hysterical laughter again *giggles* which of course made me start laughing.

Bri is still on the phone asking what's she's doing, I tell him, he starts laughing (he thinks she's a riot already). So, finally we hang up .. Kenzie is still giggling all the way home. Ever since then, every time I talk to anyone on the phone about the houses .. and mention that place .. from wherever she is in the house I hear


*grins* it takes so little to amuse her ... I wonder where she got that from?

November 01, 2005


So, 2 weeks ago Kenzie told me she knew what she was gonna be for halloween .. a cat, she has the ears and tail already 'cause I usually get her halloween costumes to throw in her dress up chest after halloween, when they're all on 75% off clearance. So anyway, she's gonna be a cat .. easy enough. Black pants, black shirt, ears and tail, and painted face .. yay, something easy ....

I told her to make sure she got these things out so that we would know where they were and she smiled and said

"Oh I know right where they are mommy."

I believed her.

This was my first mistake.

I reminded her last week to find the things she needed if she hadn't changed her mind and she once again assured me that she knew right where they were. Obviously I was suffering from temporary insanity (or maybe that's permanent) and I said ..

"alright, as long as ya know where they are."

Fast forward to Monday morning.

We get up and get ready for school, she's ready early (see previous entry .. I'm still amazed). Anyway, I tell her to go get the ears & tail and she gives me a blank look.

I tell her again ... she says she doesn't know what I mean. *blinks*

I explained slowly ... THE C A T EARS and TAIL that you want to use for your costume tonight.

She looked confused and finally said "oh, I can't find them."

of course not. It's Halloween, why would she know where they are? They're lost in the black hole that is her bedroom .. the land of lostness. Soooooo ... I had to go out and find a costume .. ON Halloween .. which is damn near impossible. I went through 3 stores and rummaged through all the leftovers and came up with a wig, a robe, and a hat ... and was totally unoriginal about it because I was annoyed, tired, and in a hurry.

She got home from school at 5 and the first words out of her mouth were ... did you get the costume?? I said yep I had and she asked what it was.

"A witch."

"A witch?!" she looked a little disgusted. I dared her to complain and told her she was lucky I didn't send her out in her regular clothes and tell her to go as a disorganized child.

So, she got all dressed up and we took off .. stopped at the store for my sister to see her and took pictures. She refused to smile .. and then informed me that witches only smile when they're laughing *rolls eyes*

So off we went .. walked all over hell and half of west virginia trick or treating. Kenzie practiced her maniacal witch laugh and used it liberally throughout the evening *laughs* She was cute and had a good time .. and I'm thankful it's over now. Good ol' mom has to get in better shape by next halloween .. lmao

October 31, 2005

Technicolor Rainbow

I decided to sit and write a bit before starting work this morning, mostly to take time to recup after Kenzie left for school *grins* So here I am :)

Kenzie brought home her report card last week, she was bouncing from the time she walked in the door until she finally got changed, had her homework done, and then came running into the living room to show me. STRAIGHT A's! She's so proud and so am I.

Now, you would think that a child that smart would be able to match things by color, wouldn't ya? Well .. this morning, we got up at 7 a.m., as usual (she's getting quicker at getting out of bed and it only takes her a short 45 minutes to get dressed now, as long as I remind her every 5 minutes what she's doing) .. so anyway .. up at 7 a.m., Kenzie rolled out bed like she had all the time in the world, as usual. I told her to get dressed and started getting her snacks together and found her little pink jacket, 'cause it's a little chilly out.

At about 7:15, I called into her room to see if she was dressed, she hollers back that she's putting on her socks and shoes and then she'll be ready *blinks* I was amazed.

She came out in a denim skirt and a blue shirt that has "Princess in Training" emblazoned across the front, a fuzzy pastel lavender hat and gloves *blinks* more amazement .. it matches, on the first try.

She grabbed some PopTarts (because she refuses to eat anything good like eggs or cereal or pancakes for breakfast, for some reason) and settled on the couch to eat. I'm still amazed that she's dressed so quick, but notice that she hasn't brushed her hair, she's just stuck the hat on her head, hoping I won't notice.

I grabbed the brush and did her hair while she ate .. slowly .. and when she was done, I handed her the jacket (pink, remember?) .. it matches the gloves & hat pretty well, nice pastel colors. We chat a bit while waiting for the bus .. hugs and kisses and I send her down the stairs when it gets here ... without them having to send someone up to fetch her (even more amazement).

As I watched her go down the stairs, the unusually loud clomping of her shoes drew my attention .....

I said .. "KENZIE! Why are you wearing THOSE shoes???"

She turned around, half way down the flight of stairs and grinned sooooo big, "well ... because I LIKE THEM" .. then giggled and ran the rest of the way and out the door before I could catch her to make her change.

Bright yellow socks and ....

ruby red shoes
(the only think missing is the sparkles and they'd be Dorothy's from Wizard of Oz)

UGH My child is wearing a technicolor rainbow

*sighs & shakes her head*

August 26, 2005

Along for the ride

Ahh .. time for school to start again. Kenzie goes back in 2 short days and she's so excited. She's all ready for it too, got the new backpack, new clothes 'cause the child just won't quit growing up, no matter how much I try to make her stop *grins*, got all the school supplies and her backpack is sitting next to the door, waiting ... lol

I just look at her some days and wonder where my baby went .. wasn't it just yesterday that she was an infant, laying in my arms, content to be held and cuddled and not wanting to be off and running? She's getting so grown up and the things that come out of her mouth sometimes .. just crack me up. She is still my best source of free entertainment :) but a little too smart for her own good I think lol. She got her standardized tests back from last year, scored between 3rd grade and 6th grade in all subjects ... and in 2 days she starts 2nd grade. I'm so proud of her *grins*

She's decided she likes her room better than mine now .. for the last year we pretty much traded rooms. She liked my bed better, I liked hers better ... then all of a sudden one day she decided she'd rather be in hers again. So, of course, I had to ask ..

"why'd you decide all of a sudden that you like your bed better now? just 'cause I said I did?"

she looked at me very seriously, then crawled up in my lap without a word, put her little hands on my cheeks and said ...

"have you ever heard of the winds of change?"

*blinks and dies laughing*

what do you say to that??? *laughs*

I thought for sure nothing she ever said would surprise me again after that .. it was priceless. But, just a few days ago she got me again. I can't remember the conversation, but I remember her reply to whatever it was that I said ...

"well mommy, you can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make 'em biscuits"

I gave up .. I was laughing too hard to say anything to her. *grins* there's no denying she's my daughter .. little smartass lol .. she's definitely got my genes. Every day with her is an adventure .. I'm just along for the ride, and what a ride it is.

July 19, 2005

monsoons and cell phones

so, I let my cell go dead the other day ... seems you have to charge them every few days or so or the battery goes kerflooey .. who knew?

So, anyway .. I let the thing go dead and figured it was a good time to charge it up, which I did for like 18 hours. I took a look at it and the little message said "charging complete" soooo I unplugged it and it wouldn't work! I tried plugging it in to see if it would work like that, but it didn't. I was already in a crappy mood and was slightly miffed by the fact that my phone wouldn't work. so, I called my provider 'cause I was at least bright enough to get the insurance thingy on it where they will replace faulty equipment, and was told that I'd have to drive 45 minutes to get it looked at ... which also was not making me dance with joy.

So, I ignored them and took it to the local office, determined that it was going to get fixed here without me having to drive all over west virginia and hell's half acre to get it done.

We make the 5 minute trip to the store, after the 45 minute ordeal of getting kenzie to get dressed and find her shoes and then we had to go to the post office across the street first .. but it is apparently monsoon season here and we had a torrential downpour that left the street looking like a river ... so, I did what any normal parent would do when we saw that it was pouring and kenzie started hollering about running back upstairs to get the umbrella .. I said ... oh we aren't gonna melt, lets stomp in puddles :)

So, we went dancing through the rain, stomping in the puddles and then we had to cross the street which, as I've mentioned, was more like a river. I grabbed kenzie's hand and amidst squeals of laughter we ran across the street through the rushing river until kenzie stopped all of a sudden, nearly jerking my arm out of joint in the process, and shrieked "my shoe!!!" It had sucked her shoe right off her foot and we had to run down the street to catch it lol

So, we ran down the street, fished the shoe out of the water, got it back on her foot. Both of us were completely soaked to the bone by then. This was no ordinary rain .. it was like having a bucket of water dumped over your head over and over. So, anyway, we ran to the post office after the shoe incident, grabbed the mail, and ran back to the car across the street. The car windows were down, of course, but it didn't matter so much since we were both already soaked.

We made the 5 minute trip to the store and sauntered, wetly, into the building, dripping water everywhere. When it was finally our turn, after waiting for the girl behind the counter to explain the many wonders of cellular phones to a couple that was obviously about 40 years behind the times, I handed over my now soggy phone and explained the problem.

"I let the battery go dead, then charged it up for like 18 hours and when it was done charging, it wouldn't work. I don't know what's up with it"

The girl behind the counter took the phone, flipped it open and messed with it a minute then handed it back to me and ... lo and behold it was working!

I was dumbfounded (dumb being the operative word here).

"What did you do to it? I've been messing with the stupid thing for hours!" I said.

She, with a straight face (which was utterly amazing to me) said, "you see this little button .. you have to hold it down to turn the phone on."


I'd never thought to turn the thing ON .. 'cause I never turned it OFF. Never stopped to think that when the battery went dead it would automatically shut off. So, I said the most intelligent thing I could think of.

"well ... DUH."

July 06, 2005

mid afternoon rambling

wow it's been a long time since I've been in here. *shoves the cobwebs outta the way* Remember the kittens that we were just going to keep one of from like .. December? well, yeah .. we kept one, and two extras, just in case we needed them *grins* Two of them are going to be finding new homes eventually ... they just haven't yet, but anyway, here they are now. they got big! Their names are Sweetie, Ninja, and Neo ('cause he is The One ..... usually "the one" in trouble lol )

hmm, lets see .. what else is new. I quit my old job and took a new one with a lady that I had worked for years ago, but just like last time .. it didn't work out (I'll learn one day not to work for her) so, once again, I have a new job lol. The hours will be better, very flexible, so no more getting up at the crack of dawn YAY! This also means I may not be completely brain dead all the time anymore and might actually have time to write here and do stuff that I've been promising people I'll do when things are not so hectic ... yay me :)

lessee what else .. ohh I got a new printer and being the "new stuff guru" that I am, I got it all hooked up without blowing anyting up this time, yay for me. It's humongous though, I didn't realize it was so big when I ordered it. The monster takes up about 1/4 of my desk ... and I've got a HUGE desk. I may need to get another desk just for the printer/fax/scanner/copier thingamy *nods bigly* It had lots of cool wires to plug in and of course we don't use instructions here except as a last resort, so what could probably have been a 10 minute job took me 30 minutes ... but it's hooked up and it works .. now. *grins* A couple friends kept telling me to read the instructions, but what do they know anyway? *scoffs*

ooo and I've also started playing EQ2 .. and omg it's great! much better than the original *dances a jig* I'll have to take some screenshots and stuff later :)

Kenzie is off for vacation next week with the grandparents for about 4 days and then will go galavating off again in August to Niagra Falls. She has her own cell phone now (yes, she's only 7 and has her own phone :p ) so she can call me whenever she wants while she's gone. I probably won't hear a peep out of her though lol. The phone is pretty cool though, it's called a Firefly (which you can find at if anyone is interested) and is geared especially for children, so she can only call and receive calls from people that I program into her phone. There's no key pad and it has parental locks on some of the functions and lotsa pretty lights and stuff.

hmm I think I've rambled enough for the moment, there are errands to run and a computer to reformat tonight, fun stuff :p Y'all have a loverly day!

January 13, 2005

Insomniacs unite....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

hehe .. yeah, it's that time again .. I've been staying up too late, getting up too early, and missing my afternoon naps .. and all that equals up to Sheli being a sleepy, sick girl. I think I've finally caught up on my sleep so now of course I can't sleep again .. yay me! ... so I thought I'd come here and write, since I haven't for a while :)

I've been playing computer tech for my sister again, I swear she drives me nuts, but she's adorable .. so I can't stay irritated for long :) She's been having trouble with a USB port so of course she called the person who knows the most about computer hardware in the family, right? Of course not .. she called me. So, I go up to the house, take the case off and gaze into the tower ... weee there's lots of pretty colored wires in there .. and they're like hooked up to stuff .. cool! *grins* Well, I go on the hunt for the USB ... it's in a very convenient place .. NOT. Way back behind the CD Rom where ya can't reach it at all ...and I couldn't see any connectors or anything 'cause it's integrated .. yay. So, we piddle with the computer, trying to figure out what the problem is .. of course I had no clue, so I came home and sent a message to my own personal tech support ... Daddy! hehe

He told me stuff to do, so I did it, and it still didn't work, so I did more stuff, that also didnt' work and finally said .. look kiddo, ya need a new USB port, 'cause it's gonna be lots less aggravation and probably healthier for the computer 'cause if I take it all apart to get to the USB, I'm not sure i can put it all back together right. So she said ok, she'd do that.

Well, she calls me a few days later, she bought the new USB .... and the following conversation was the result of said purchase.

Me: Hello?

Her: Hi, I bought the USB thingy

Me: Oh? Do you know how to put it in?

Her: yeah, but I don't have any place to put it.

Me: Try the computer tower.

Her: oh ha ha .. no really, there's no empty space to put it.

Me: Look at the back of the tower, there are empty slots that have a metal plate across them, just take the plate out and plug the thing in.

Her: There's no PCI slot

Me: There has to be a slot, look again.

Her: No, there's no place for it. but there's an empty plug back there.

Me: Well take whatever is there out and plug the thing into that slot.

Her: Well something might go there.

Me: Is there anything plugged into it now?

Her: No, but something might go there.

Me: What kinda socket is it?

Her: One like the monitor goes in.

Me: But there's nothing plugged into it? is the monitor plugged in?

Her: Yeah the monitor is plugged in, but there's nothing in that plug.

Me: Ok, take out whatever is there ... DON'T throw it away .. and plug in the USB

Her: But what if something goes there?

Me: ............

Her: What if it blows up the computer?

Me: Then I won't have to have to deal with you anymore.

Her: .........

Me: Look ... If there's nothing plugged into it now you probably don't have anything to plug into it.

Her: Well nothing is plugged in ....

Me: yes I got that part ... wait .. what do you mean NOTHING is plugged in?

Her: Well I unhooked everything to plug the USB in.

Me: You said the monitor was plugged in.

Her: Well no, nothing is plugged in.

Me: *trying not to beat the phone on the desk* ok plug everything in where it should be and then look and see if anything goes there. If there's nothing plugged into that spot, TAKE OUT WHATEVER IS THERE AND PLUG THE USB IN


Me: Ok go do it and call me if you need help

Her: Ok bye :)

Me: Bye

~time passes ... about 4 hours ~

*one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy*

Me: Hello?

Her: Hey we took the entire computer apart.

Me: Why? and who is "we"?

Her: Me and dad ((that would be Jack, who knows absolutely nothing about computers and pretty well hates them)), we took it apart and tested everything and stuff and we put the USB in. There's lots of wires in there that aren't hooked to anything ....

Me: .....

Her: ... and I started up the computer and it said it detected a new printer

Me: yay!!

Her: It hasn't done that for a long time ... *giggle* but anyway, it's working now, just wanted to tell you it's working

Me: You go girl! *breathes a sigh of relief*

~The End~

lol .. ahh the joys of having an adorably electronically challenged blonde sister ;)

Other than that, life's been moving along. Kenzie's back in school after the holidays and happy to be back. The kittens are just about ready to leave us. The guinea pigs are ... well, they're guinea pigs, what can ya say about them? Work is still work and it sucketh muchly ... and the world keeps on a'spinnin' :) oohhh and I watched The Butterfly Effect the other night ... cool movie, think I'm gonna watch it again :-)

Well, time marches on .. and work comes early so off I go to try to sleep again .. I've slept so much the last couple days 'cause I was spreading myself pretty thin and got a bit ill from a combination of lack of sleep and going out in an icy cold rain to go grocery shopping ...without a coat .. or an umbrella .. or warm enough clothes (yeah I know, not too smart to go out in short sleeves when it's 38 degrees out) but I seem to be getting better thanks to vitamin C (yes I took vitamin C, Somatic, shaddup *hugs & kisses*) and some cold medicine (yes I did actually take medicine, so everyone that was telling me to, shaddup) and a couple friends that run me off to bed if they see me pop online at odd hours (yes people I know I have to sleep sometimes ... *pokes her tongue out*) *smile* thanks guys for always looking out for me and irritating me to death and insisting that i go away when I hang around too long even if I rarely listen and blow it off as being nothing when I feel like crap and am dozing off at the keyboard or on the phone *hugs & loves for all of ya* ;)

December 22, 2004

christmas, batteries & kittens

So, it's almost Christmas .. and I've done .. NOTHING *beams* I usually have at least the tree up by now, but not this year .. there's nowhere to put it lol ... so, in the next few days I'm going to have to put up the christmas tree and go shopping, because of course .. procastinating queen than I am, I have not bought anything.

I always start out the year with the best intentions, make big complex plans about how I'm going to be so organized and be done buying for Christmas by October, November at the very latest ... then I regain consciousness and it's December 22 and I have to go shopping and buy everything in one fell swoop. and this year is no different ... the 22nd I'll be going shopping, fighting all the last minute shoppers ... all of us walking around in a daze wondering what twilight zone we've been in for the last 3 months and how it got so close to Christmas without us realizing it. Ah well .. I've just come to accept it. . it's my nature to wait until the very last minute and then run crazy through the store, snatching things up and guarding my cart, glaring at the passers by, baring my teeth and growling if they even look vaguely interested in whats I've got ... 'cause it was the last one on the shelf and kenzie wants it! ...*grin* ... it wouldn't be Christmas without that ;)

lets see, what else ..

ohh I got a very exciting *yawn* and in depth lecture on the inner workings of car batteries by Jack. It seems that when ya let a car battery drain completely, so that it is so dead that the engine just flips ya off and doesn't even TRY to turn over when ya turn the key, that there is some kind of chemical thing going on in there .. the acid separates from the water and sticks to some kind of plate thingamy and when ya get it recharged the chemicals poof back into the water and mix up like they're supposed to be. it's all magic *nods mysteriously* I was also informed that every time you let the battery die that a little bit of the magic chemical stuff sticks to the plate and no amount of magic will bring it back into the water ... oh and also .. if it's cold .. like sub zero temperatures .. like it has been here .. that if the battery freezes while it's dead .. since all the chemicals have poofed onto the magic plate .. that the water freezing in the battery could cause it to expode, which, while it may be amusing and entertaining, is not so good for the car. So, the moral of this story is .. don't let the battery die if you live in a cold climate unless you know some good voodoo magic to bring it back to life ... or at least that's what I got out of it.

oh did i mention we have new kittens?
well, we do .. kenzie is going to keep one .. just one. . that's it. no more than one! for real this time. There are 4 of them .. and they're really cute and fuzzy and cuddly and adorable .. and we're only keeping one ..

well, maybe 2.

but that's it!


November 17, 2004

the mind wanders

well i have some time today to do nothing, so i thought i'd write a little :) My main work account has been experiencing technical difficulties, so I have no work until they get it fixed, which means once they do i'll be swamped with work for about a week .. yay me!

So, i'm just curled up in my comfy chair, listening to some nice mellow music .. 'cause it's too early to be all rowdy and stuff. Things are pretty much the same as always here .. work, sleep, domestic goddess, blah blah .. I've decided I'm going to find a new job .. but I still haven't figured out what i want to be when i grow up. I'm thinking ballerina and fairy princess are pretty much out at this point .. and really i'm not so sure i want to grow up. I know grown ups and they're not a lot of fun *grins*

Anyway! new job .. but will be trying to hang with this one until spring when the mountain thaws out. we live in a pretty little valley, surrounded by mountains .. there's a bigger city 45 minutes in any direction, but there's a mountain between me and the city on all sides.

I used to love winter, loved to play in the snow when I was little .. I kinda hate it now though, mostly just because I don't have a choice anymore .. i HAVE to go out in it *pout* Snow is wonderful and all, but not when you have to drive on a road that was paved by someone who was obviously following a snake down the mountain. The roadway is great, mountain on one side, 400 foot drop on the other .. not a lot of room for error on a slick twisty turny mountain road covered in snow. Add to the mix that my car is pretty much a deathsled during the winter and after much calculating I came up with:

snow + mountain + cliffs + deathsled = hibernate and find job in spring.

I actually have a couple to check on around here, but our little town is an economical black hole, so I'm betting I'll be braving the mountain at the first sign of spring and with any luck at all I'll be able to move back to the city in the summer :)

anyway enough of that .. kenzie is doing great in school this year and still loving it .. i hope that lasts :) she just got her report card, all A's .. so mama is all puffed up proud of her. She's decided that she has a "huge crush" on some little boy in her class .. her words, not mine.. I keep trying to tell her that little boys act too dumb and she doesn't like them .. but she's not buying it. In fact, I think it made her worse .. she's just boy crazy *sigh* and she's only 6. *buckles up for the 12-year ride she's about to go on* I knew I was in for it when she came to me at 3 years old, crawled up in my lap with a starry-eyed look and snuggled for a minute and then said in a dreamy little girl voice ... "mommy, i LOVE boys."

Soon after that revelation, we were at my great grandmother's funeral .. and she decided to prove just how much she loves boys. My little cousin, about 2 at the time, I believe, came in the door. He's was just the cutest little thing, and kenzie had never met him before .. (yeah our family is close lol .. they live 40 minutes away and they'd never met) anyway .. she saw him come in, walked up to him and kissed him right on the mouth. Ever since then I've been trying to make her understand that boys are no good .. and won't be until she is at least 40 *giggles* she doesn't believe me though. I didn't believe my mother either, though I'm starting to now *laughs* I'm a slow learner :-p

I have more pictures to post ... as soon as I get the film developed *grins* I took some pretty pictures of the leaves turning on the mountains. They were just gorgeous this year. oh and i also have some pictures of my baby's artwork *giggles* normal people hang pictures on the fridge .. I say the fridge is not big enough to show them off .. so we display them on the living room wall. I had to move the Van Gogh & Ansel Adams prints to make room .. they're safe in a box out in the hall now lol .. one of these days I may hang them somewhere else .. unless kenzie decides she wants to hang her pictures all over the house :-p .... no i don't spoil her at all *grins*

did i mention we have another litter of kittens coming? I think I need to have a talk with my cats ... anyway, we've got a new litter coming. ya may have noticed I haven't posted another picture of our kitten, Rosie ..she doesn't live here anymore, so kenzie will be keeping one of the new kittens .. just ONE .. i mean it! *puts her foot down*

anyway, Rosie went to live with our neighbor, a girl i went to school with. She was going through a divorce and living by herself for pretty much the first time in her life .. and she really wanted Rosie. So I had a talk with kenzie and told her about what was going on and left the decision up to her, since Rosie was hers. She went back and forth a couple times and I just kept telling her it was up to her, Rosie was HER kitten. and my baby, sweet thing that she is, came and told me after a few days of deliberating that she wanted Rosie to go live with Bethy 'cause she needed her more than we did *smiles* I was more proud of her that moment, in that one simple act of kindness, than ever in her life so far. She loved that kitten so much. After she made her decision I promised her she could keep a kitten from the next litter ... and they'll arrive just in time for christmas this year :) So there will be more kitty pictures at some point *smiles*

well, i've rambled on and on long enough for today I think, my mind is obviously wandering all over the place and it's hard to tell where it will end up .. and i'm not sure i want witnesses to where it might go .. I have a christmas Jack-story to write, and a deer Jack-story that i promised my baby sis a long time ago, so maybe i'll get them done sometime today .. I was thinking I might procrastinate some more, but I'll think about that later *giggles*

October 14, 2004

a day in the life

Nothing terribly new to report ... my work weeks go pretty much the same all the time. It's the same just about every morning on school days. Drag my butt out of bed or off the couch or wherever I happened to pass out the night before, search for the off button for the alarm and end up throwing the clock to shut it off, trying to remember exactly why i volunteered for the 5 a.m. shift, stumble to the computer, start downloading work, brush my teeth and splash cold water on my face to try to wake up and get to work .. trying not to fall asleep in the middle of a report. Then at 6:30 I get kenzie up and then the circus begins.

6:30 I wake her up, fighting the urge to crawl into bed with her and go back to sleep. Turn on the lights 'cause she is playing dead .. pull the covers off of her so the cool air will smack her little ass ... and she says she needs to stretch .. so she can wake up *rolls eyes and grins* I go back out to the computer to type a bit while I wait for her to emerge from the bedroom.

6:45 I go back to her room to wake her up and remove the covers again and make threats of dragging her out of bed by her toes and dumping ice water on her head ... she giggles and gets up. I return to the computer.

7:00 she comes out of her room and announces she's ready for school. her clothes are on sideways, her hair is sticking out everywhere, she has on the socks that clash the worst with whatever she is wearing and her sad little light up tennies .. only one still flashes 'cause the other one got stuck flashing and the lights died *giggles* I straighten her clothes, send her back to brush her teeth, wash her face, find the hair brush and for heaven's sake find some white socks to wear.

7:15, we're quickly running out of time, she has brushed her teeth, washed her face and comes to give me a kiss .. at which time I realize she hasn't dried her face on a towel 'cause obviously my face is a better drying surface ... so i'm waking up now 'cause i have cold clammy water all over my face. She still hasn't found the brush, and still has on bright green socks with a red dress. I send her back again, for white socks and the brush .. she disappears back into her room.

7:20 I holler for her, she comes out, still with the green socks and has a brush in her hand and informs me that she has already brushed her hair and can't find white socks. I find both statements hard to believe because her hair is still sticking up all over the place and because I know for a fact she has about 7000 pair of white socks in her drawer. I send her back for the socks and tell her she better not come out without them again ... and bring the brush back too!

7:25 I yell for her again, i'm working on a deadline for reports that are out of turnaround time 'cause there is no midnight shift to cover what comes in at night and i am not getting this report done because i've listened to the same 2 lines about 20 times now amidst all the yelling for her and sending her back to do things. She wanders back into the living room, she has on white socks, but her shoes are missing in action now. She is carrying the brush and has tried to put her hair up in a pony tail. I send her back for her shoes.

7:30, the bus will be here in just a few short minutes.. she has her shoes on finally, I leap out of the chair to find the brush which has mysteriously disappeared, trip on the backpack in the floor which is empty and yell for her to come find her stuff and put it in the bookbag. The cats are obviously fearing for their lives and are streaking up and down the hallway, darting between my feet trying to kill me. kenzie moseys into the room, looking up at the ceiling, and swearing she can't find her homework or her PE clothes. I figure it's probably because we don't hang them from the ceiling, and mention that to her.

7:35 I finally find the brush, lasso the kid, take down the jacked up ponytail, and start brushing her hair. she's wailing before I even touch her hair with the brush because it hurts her hair (translation: she liked her hair up in a ponytail that was sticking out the side of her head and doesn't want me to re-do it). Finally I get the ponytail back up, straight, and we go tearing through her room looking for her homework and gym clothes. I throw it all in the bag and tell her to find her snacks for snack time and bring them out. She heads down the hallway, says she can't find them ... most likely because I don't keep them in my bedroom. I run to the kitchen, grab some random stuff, throw it in a bag with a couple juice boxes and hurl the backpack down the hall to the door and tell her to watch for the bus.

7:40 I'm still running crazy, hurdling the cats as they whip through the hallway, trying to find her jacket, put it with her bag and head back to her room to take one last look at her to make sure everything is on frontwards and right side out and the socks match the clothes and the shoes are on the feet ... and she's laying in the middle of her bed looking at the ceiling. I ask her if the bus comes through the roof .. and if not how she's going to see it from there. The door bell rings. The bus is here and we didn't see it 'cause she was mesmerized by the ceiling fan.

I run to the door, grab her backpack and jacket ... she wanders out into the hallway like she has all day .. i swing her into her jacket, hand her bag to whoever came up to retrieve her, give kisses and hugs and shove her out the door with an 'i love you', watch her poke her way down the stairs and then run back to the computer to try to whip out these reports before 8 when they are due, completely exhausted and i've only been awake for 3 hours lol .. I always think I'll take a nap when i'm done at 1, but by then I've caught my second wind so I get some house work done, chat a bit with my dad or my sister or whoever happens to be online at the time, run my errands, fix dinner, get kenzie's homework done, bath time and send her off to bed and settle in for the evening to play a game with friends and I end up being up until midnight or 1, finally toddle off to get some sleep and the alarm seems to ring before my head even hits the pillow .. and it starts all over again :-)

September 19, 2004

top secret dust bunny convention

There are 220 tiles in my living room ceiling .. counting all the half tiles around the edges of the room ... of those 220 tiles, 49 are stained where the roof used to drip water on my head .. interesting huh?

That's what i thought too while i was flat on my back, pretty much confined to the couch for the last 3 days ... I'll be sure to keep you all updated on the exciting world of ceiling tiles when I resume my position on the couch once again .. I was up today only to work and will be returning there on doctors threats .. er .. orders .. *mutters* It seems that there's this rule for picking heavy things up .. that you're supposed to use your legs and not your back to do it ... who knew? So anyway, managed to screw myself up pretty badly ... I knew there was something wrong as soon as I hit my knees and had to crawl to the couch. On my way, I also noticed that I need to vacuum in the corners and along the wall and that there's a top secret dust bunny convention going on under the couch .. but doc says that has to wait a few more days .. and he seemed to think i had a little crazy on my face when i mentioned that they were plotting to take over the world. I've been listening to them plot and scheme for 3 days .. trying to hear their plan so that I can do it first ..... of course that could be the medication talking.

My mother and sisters descended upon my house, using my back injury against me .. they knew I could not throw them out bodily. They decided a while back that they were going to come and clean/rearrange kenzie's room ... I told them they were not allowed to because it's HER job to keep her room clean ... but seeing that I was in no state to block their entry and couldn't make them leave .. they shoved me aside and moved in on me. Kenzie's room is now sparkling clean and all rearranged so we wont' be able to find anything for at least a month .... I'm thinking I'm going to call them and tell them they need to come do the rest of the house now 'cause the dust bunnies are planning their next move ... they seem to be quite agitated about the whole cleaning thing in kenzie's room ... i'll wait until i'm a little better though .. my mom will probably call the men in white coats to come take me away .. to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!! ...

*giggles maniacally, aiming the vacuum hose at the couch* one more move and the dustbunny gets it!

hmm think i need to go lay back down .. or something .. *wanders off, singing* little bunny foo foo hopping through the forest, *sneeze* picking up the dustbunnies and vacuuming up their heads ...

August 27, 2004

car dancing

Ahh it's a lovely day today, perfect temperature outside .. warm, but not hot .. breeze, but not a gale .. just .. perfect. Kenzie has decided that brunch is the way to go now, instead of breakfast and lunch ... instead she has brunch and lunch lmao .. so she decided she wanted to go see her Nana and make her cook for us ... so we did.

We ran over to the store and before we were even out of the car i could smell the horrid smell of .. bleh .. salmon *shudders* My mother was cooking .. I don't mean making deli stuff .. I mean cooking .. everything she could think of. She's on a roll. My sisters start back to college next week and everything will be hectic when they go .. 'cause they can't work at the store so much during the school year .. so schedules have to change, my mom and Jack will go back to 16 hour days for the most part .. so mom is cooking up everything she can think of and putting it in the freezer .. so all they have to do is thaw and inhale for the next month.

Sooo we go running in the store, kenzie says she wants .. for brunch .. a hotdog *laughs* my mom says Cari has to make it .. 'cause .. SHE'S COOKING. Cari tells her that since she's already cooking, what's a couple hotdogs? She says she can't put them in the freezer so she's not making them. I told her she could stick 'em in the freezer .. but she didn't go for it lol

she was actually in a good mood today .. i think it's the delirium from her cooking frenzy. I haven't seen her or talked to her for a week or two .. but it's nice to see her in a good mood .. on those rare occasions. Not that she's always grouchy .. just not usually much fun. I like her when she's silly :) the rest of the time i just try to stay away from her.

we went for a short drive after picking up some grub .. my car has a lovely oil leak .. and i believe an exhaust leak too .. but the smoke gives me cover from the cops noticing that my inspection sticker is dead LOL .. makes me feel kinda like Elvis when I step outta the car .. amidst a billow of smoke .. I subconsciously curl my lip and hum the little song ... and then start giggling and make everyone wonder whats the matter with me .. .

but anyway .. we went for a drive lol .. just up to the lake, not far .. but it was nice to get out of town, even for 30 minutes .. away from all the hateful people in this crappy little town, away from the broken down buildings and cobblestone streets full of potholes that could swallow my boat of a car .. the air smells so nice today, like fresh sunshine .. the trees are so full .. and the lake so peaceful now that all the tourists have gone home and the kids are back in school *sighs contentedly* the only thing breaking the silence was the radio .. and my own giggling as i glanced in the rear view and saw ... kenzie bobbing her little head in time to the music .. much like her mama in the front seat .. *grins* 'cause my girl has rhythm ... and we car danced all the way home

August 24, 2004

blah blah blah

not much in this post, just wanna see if the notify list is working yet. added a few new poems to the poetry board last night.

finally finished the site for you Sy ;) so if ya get the notification email... it's done ... until i'm feelin froggy and decide to revamp that last page.

not much else really, doing the same ol' same ol' ... kenzie starts back to school next week, so things should return to some sort of normality .. not that it's ever "normal" around here .. lol ..

Finally got rid of the stupid weasel .. thank God .. moved the guinea pigs into his cage and they're happy and chattering at me all the time now. We have long conversations ... yes i know i'm weird .. i talk to all my animals just like they're my kids. The cats are happy with the new living arrangments for the pigs too .. they can stick their little paws in there and play pat the piggie .. LOL .. Rosie (the kitten finally got a name) is growing so quick, fat and sassy she is .. and a rotten little shit too :) will post another pic as soon as i can get her to sit still long enough .. lmao

ah well guess that's it for today .. gotta run to the store and get cat food .. 'cause heaven forbid that Bow should be out of food for more than 2.5 seconds .. he gets very panicky when the bowl is only half full *rolls eyes* I keep telling him he won't waste away .. he's 10 freakin pounds if he's an ounce .. but does he listen? no .. he bitches and complains and is up in my face if i don't have a full bowl for him at all times. what a brat .. no clue where he gets that from *grins and runs off to the store

August 08, 2004

the return of chaos ... to EQ

just popping in for a second today and i see that Boot announced my return *chuckles* gee thanks Boot .. make it sound like everything is amazing in here or something sheesh

Just a short entry today .. I'm just about to dive into EQ 'cause it's calling me very loudly .. yahoo is lighting up with people screaming for me to come out and play ... not that I wasn't going to already or anything, but will blame it on them for today *grins*

ok lessee .. what's up .. I'm healing up after my intense meeting with the stone walkway .. for those of ya that knew about that .. my leg is still swollen and lots of pretty colors now, but doesn't give me too much problem unless i stand up for more than 5 minutes .. so I have a good excuse to sit here and play EQ lol .. all roads lead to Everquest. My face is nearly bruiseless once again and my wrists and knees are just about healed up. So I'm almost good as new .. or at least as good as I was before I fell *grins*

Got some new graphics made and some more to make still so I can finish up some website pages .. got my dad to critique the site for me .. so have some revamping to do to some of the pages.

Still haven't named the poor little kitten .. and am really trying to stay away from her as much as possible so that she can bond with kenzie instead of me like the other cats did. I'd rather have her driving kenzie nuts than me anyway LOL .. I have two cats that already crawl all over me all the time.

Not really much else going on at the moment .. or at least not anything that I'm willing to take the time to type about right now 'cause it's sucking up my precious EQ time *laughs* There are orcs and gnolls and other various baddies begging to be killed .. just waiting for my all powerful wizard to come and whack 'em around with a big stick. ... ohhh .. i'm being sucked in .. *gets drug off by her buddies to Norrath, hollering and screaming* DON'T SAVE ME ... hehehehe ..

August 02, 2004

plodding along

been working on a website for a friend and am just tickled pink at it's outcome, it's just too cute for words *nearly breaks her arm patting herself on the back* i'm about halfway done with it i think .. unless i find something that i want to change later lol ..

have to go to a birthday party this evening. My sister, grandfather and myself all have birthdays within a week of each other so we always have a party together .. always late 'cause no one ever has the time to do anything together .. so this year our birthday is in august lol.. i'm sure i'll have a "Jack story" by the time it's over. He's so weird lol ... oh speaking of birthdays .. damnit i let my stepmonster's pass me by! *makes mental note to send very very late card* CRS disease sucks.

haven't really been doing much else. working, sleeping a lot, vegging in front of the tv, and working on the website a bit here and there. Kenzie's actually been home for days and days! she'll be gone wednesday night and friday night and then for a week starting the 13th .. but my boss keeps me busy working when she's not around .. then, the 30th school starts again .. YAY! that means she'll actually be home regularly again for 9 months. i'm tired of her being gone, she never wants to stay home ... cannot imagine where she got that from *grins*

July 23, 2004

just ... stuff

Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart.
--Charles Dickens

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
--John Lennon

of all the words in tongue or pen
the saddest are these;
what might have been.
--author unknown.

I love you, without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this; where "I" does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest IS my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
-- Pablo Neruda
(*sighs dreamily* this has always been my favorite quote. *smiles* )

daddy dearest

Ya know, it's funny how heredity works. My dad sends out update emails to everyone on his email list as part of his OA step program .. I love getting his emails and seeing how he's doing. He talks about his life and how the events of his past as well as day to day impact his weight loss and his life in general and I see so much of him when I look at myself. All these things about me that I wonder where they come from .. I realize more and more that the vast majority come from him.

It's very odd to me because I've not spent a lot of time with him .. not compared to "normal" family life. He lives in Florida, I live in West Virginia. I saw him during the summers and for 1 week at Christmas every year for most of my life. We rarely talk on the phone, but for the past 8 years, we've used this medium to chat relatively often. So most of it has to be just hereditary ..

From my dad, I have inherited my sense of humor, my love of good food which led to my love of cooking, reading, and learning new things, my independence, and the fighting spirit i have, the way i go after the things i want without thought of the consequences sometimes *grins sheepishly*, my deep love of music, my outgoing nature .. the part of me that has never met a stranger, my love of singing and expressing myself through poetry, my slightly rebellious attitude towards my grandparents and mother *grins* he's such a good influence *laughs* He's given me these things and so much more just by being himself.

I also inherited some of my bad parts from him .. my temper, my constant struggle with my weight, my worrying over things at times to the point of driving myself crazy, the bad attitude i get when things don't go my way, and what he calls the "God complex" .. not in the sense that most people think of that phrase, but the mind frame that if things don't go right it's always in some way my fault .. that I could have done more to change it or stop it, the blaming of myself for things that are entirely out of my control at times. That one has hit home in more ways that one in the last week or so .. something i've been dealing with for 9 years, but I won't go into it now. If you're here .. reading this, chances are you already know what it is .. but finally, thanks to a simple question from a friend to jog a long buried memory, I'm coming to terms with it and that's what matters *smiles*

The bad things I have inherited are far outweighed by the good .. In watching him struggle with his own shortcomings, he's taught me to embrace what I am, the good and bad, 'cause they are the things that make me .. just Sheli. Without all the screwed up, messed up parts of me .. I would not have learned to be a fighter. Every time i screw up I have to claw my way out of the hole I've dug .. and it makes me stronger. Watching him do the same has taught me that. Without all the things I've inherited from my father, good and bad, I would not have come to this particular place in my life, the place where I am comfortable with myself, mind and body, and love myself for who and what I am. I've taken the hard road to get here .. something that my mother reminds me of every chance she gets .. but, it's made me stronger than if I'd let her choose my path for me. I've watched my sisters let her do this to them, and it makes them weak .. not ready really to be out in the real world where everything is not all puppies and roses. It has given me a lot of heartache, but also the ability to truly enjoy and appreciate the good things in my life because I put myself through so much stupid bullshit to get them lol. It has, in some ways, made me wise beyond my years. It has given me a strong will, a fighting spirit, and the knowledge that no matter what life throws at me, I will somehow get through it and come out stronger in the end.

My mother had much bitterness when they split up .. and wasn't so good at containing that, though she did give it a valiant effort. When she was at her wits end and frustrated beyond belief, she would throw up her hands and say .. You're just like your father! .... she has no idea how that affected me every time she said it. I was so torn because I knew how she felt about him then .. and hated to think she felt that way about me. but at the same time .. I was elated, 'cause I love my father so much .. he's always been my hero, though he may not know it or understand it .. and being like him, for me, is a good thing. He has his faults, we all do .. and yes he's made some rotten choices in his life, but who hasn't? For all his faults, the good in him knows no limits .. he is a good and decent man and I can't think of anyone better to be like.

I love getting his update emails .. they always make me think, give me a more in depth look at where I come from and a deeper understanding of who I am, who he is, and why we are what we are .. and the realization that no matter how much I fight it sometimes, I'm not going to change these things about myself ... and to be honest, I really do not want to. People say that women turn into their mothers, men turn into their fathers ... and that is true a lot of the time. But for me .. I'm turning into my father .. and I embrace that. For all his faults .. he is a good man with a good heart and an inner strength like I have rarely seen in others. His greatest gift to me, though he may never realize how he gave it, is my ability to love openly and completely, to embrace myself for what I am and give freely of myself to others. He constantly amazes me with his self growth and I can only hope I will continue to follow in those footsteps.

July 20, 2004

skeletons in the .. doorway?

soooooo .. here i sit .. BORED :) well not too bored, been making pretty graphics for some of the coolest people *grins* but i'm done for now .. and kenzie is cleaning her room *rolls eyes* I think she's trying to master telekinetic cleaning .. she's sitting on her bed watching TV and willing the room to clean itself. So far she's not having much luck. She knows the consequences will be dire, so if it's not clean by the time bedtime rolls around, she's up the creek without a paddle. I have no idea what I'm gonna do to her .. but she doesn't have to know that *laughs*

I have another project that I'll start on after she goes to bed .. when the house is quiet and there is too much time for me to think and stress out and go stir crazy .. maybe that will keep me from going nuts like last night. Gonna make another pretty graphic for this crazy woman I know .. *grins*

Kenzie leaves again tomorrow for the rest of the week, going to a 3-day dance/gymnastics camp kinda thingamajig .. she'll be back Saturday night .. so I think while she's gone I'm gonna go blonde. *nods solemnly* Been thinking about it for months .. just haven't had the energy to do it .. it takes forever 'cause my hair is so long and so thick .. and now it's all spirally and curly and stuff .. which will make it even a bigger mess to work with ... but i'm gonna do it! i liked being blonde *grins* .... and it'll shock the hell out of my grandmother *laughs* that makes it worth the trouble. She said she'd disown me if I did it again ... but I think secretly she really wants me to. It gives her more subjects to lecture me on .. I'm sure she's getting tired of the same old ones all the time .. I have them numbered ... pisses her off when she starts and I say .. oh this is number 3 .. that's all ya had to say. number 3.

The cable dude came today to hook me up. I had to switch the service when I booted the loser out 'cause it was in his name. So, because Charter Communications is so organized and efficient, they felt that instead of transferring the equipment that was already in the house over into my name .. it would be much easier to send someone 45 minutes one way to bring me new equipment.

I'm glad they did though, 'cause mr. cable dude showed up today, got everything working and decided to go check out the lines in the back of the building .. and that HOSER that lives down the hall had hooked into my cable .. which is the reason that my connection has been so laggy lately and has been crapping out so much. So basically, he's in deep shit now. Besides the cable guy on his ass .. I'mma trip him next time I see him on the stairs .. what a loser. He's a weirdo too .. has this full size skeleton thing made out of cut up milk cartons hanging on his door .. it reaches to the floor so ya gotta like move it out of the way if ya wanna go in his apartment ... not that anyone wants to, but just a hypothetical thing there. He stuck the damn thing in my car one day! I left it hanging on the parking meter .. I'm sure that got some doubletakes. I went to school with this guy .. he was stuck on stupid then and is pretty much a 10 on the strange-shit-o-meter now.

oh well, back to .. um .. whatever i was gonna do ... think i'll go draw flowers and butterflies on the milk jug skeleton ..... just to piss the weirdo off :)

July 17, 2004

where are the children?

The house is quiet .. I want to write, but have no idea what. I want to be eloquent and have the words flow, but they don't. I guess I'm just not eloquent. So, it's just me and pooh .. pooh shows up when I'm bored beyond belief .. so at least I have someone to talk to *laughs*

It's been so quiet here all summer, kenzie's hardly been home ... and is now gone again, for just the day this time, but she'll be whisked away again on Wednesday for half a week and then again for a week in the middle of August.. *sigh* so damn quiet here without her, no SpongeBob, no Fairly Oddparents .. well ok I watch them even when she's not here sometimes, but that's beside the point .. and no imaginary children. I almost miss them. These imaginary children are such a pain .. I wish their imaginary parents would come over so we could have an imaginary talk about their imaginary behavior.

It's been a while since the whole bunch of them came over at the same time .. it's just one or two every once in a while now .. unless she's hiding them in her closet.

Jill was one of the worst.. she was such a dirty child too. I know this because Kenz gave her a bath once and had to use half a bottle of my favorite shampoo to do it.

Robert was just clumsy .. he had a broken ankle and was always getting bee stings and kenzie had to nurse him back to health.

Those are the two I remember the best .. they were the ones that stayed around the longest. Others came and went, but Jill and Robert were the constants.

The day I'll remember the best for many years to come ~as will the neighbors~ yes pooh, hush now .. it's MY story ... is the day that there were 10 squealing imaginary children in my house. They were running back and forth through the place, shrieking and having a whale of a time .. well except for Jill and Robert .. they both had broken ankles and bee stings and were on the couch, complaining.

Anyway .. all these children were running through the house like mad .. and had given me such a headache I had to get rid of them. So, like any good mother would do .. I stood in the middle of the living room and made an announcement.

All of the imaginary children in this house have to go home.

I walked over to the door, flung it open and walked out into the hallway .. waving at the imaginary children as they tripped merrily down the stairs.

My neighbor's head peeks out the door, looks curiously down the stairs, looks even more curiously at me .. and then disappears again. I hear the bolt slide softly to securely lock the door.

I laugh to myself, thinking .. yeah that's right, i'm a nutjob .. return to your home, there's nothing to see here ... literally

I grin and go back inside.

My daughter goes into the playroom and amuses herself, probably wondering if mommy has flipped her lid.

A few days later, kenzie is being very clingy, climbing all over me and I say .. why don't you go play with Jill and Robert.

She looks at me like I've sprouted another head and says .. I can't.


You made them leave.

~snickers .. well she got ya there~ yep she did, pooh, I forgot ..

I say .. well they can come back. She just smiles that smile that says "silly mommy, you're so weird" and goes off to play.

Another few days go by .. she has new imaginary friends. I guess that the imaginary parents were quite ticked off that I unceremoniously dumped their youngsters outside without even making sure they had a way home ..

The new friends are much quieter .. thankfully.

There was one though .. I believe his name was Michael .. he kinda creeped me out. I'd say .. Kenzie where's your friend? She'd say .. he's right behind you

~always behind .. never beside or in front of .. creepy dontcha think?~ yes it was creepy pooh .. i didn't like him .. had to hide all the imaginary knives.

I'd say ... uh .. what is he doing?

she'd say .. just standing there quietly.

~it's always the quiet ones ~

Jill and Robert finally showed up though .. one day when my grandmother came to pick up kenzie for the night. She said .. kenzie where are your friends?

~the whole family was in on this imaginary friend business?~ yes they were pooh, all but my mother, she thought we were all nuts. One time you spank an imaginary child with a flyswatter and your tagged as crazy .. go figure.

Kenzie stepped out the door and scooped up Jill and Robert .. who obviously had been standing in the hallway for a week just waiting for her .. I guess they had no parents .. so she took Jill and Robert to grandma's house and they live there to this day .. I think.

I kinda miss the imaginary kids .. they don't come around very often anymore. I really miss Jill and Robert .. they were our first.

All the women in the office I worked at then loved to hear the Jill & Robert stories.

where'd you get that horrendous bruise on your arm?!

oh I probably got it when i was chasing those kids ...

laughter erupts throughout the office ... they all think I'm certifiable, but they love my insanity ... and so do I.

July 16, 2004

computers R us

installed a CD rom into kenzie's computer last night .. i was so proud *grins* i've never done any hardware stuff before .. and my dad had to talk me through it 'cause it has a jumper thingy that has to be set to something and it was set to something else, and i think he's probably still mumbling to himself about it, but it's in there and it's working lol ... NO BOOT I HAVENT' DONE THE VGA YET ... anyway .. so my mom comes by to tell me that once again my sister has screwed up her computer beyond recognition .. and needs me to fix it .. again. *sigh* I agree to do it today .. ya ever have one of those days where ya should have never walked out the door? yeah, today was it.

Kenzie finally got home early this afternoon .. 7 hour earlier than i expected. I was all excited and we were hanging out .. and my sister comes by .. 'cause obviously I forgot I needed to go fix the damn computer today, right now .. 'cause she needs it to work by September when she goes back to college. I say I'll be there .. she goes away. Kenzie and I get dressed and hop in the car, make the 5 minute trip to my mothers ... one which they can't make unless they need something .. and head into the house. Kenze, ever leary of the crazed whirlwind of a dog they have .. pokes her head in the door and says ... "is the dog *shrieks, crash, lots of scrambling*
....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and Lucky attacked, trying to lick her face off. It took 2 of us to calm the damn dog down .. 'cause she just loves kenzie so much lol ..

sooooo, I run up to Jess's room to see what she's done this time. I turn on the computer and start getting every single error known to man ... and the color is all screwed up .. the video drivers need to be reinstalled. I tried a couple things and finally just looked at her and said .. WHAT did you do?

She looks at me ... the perfect "dumb blonde" look on her fact .. wide eyed, blank stare .. and she actually said to me .. "I didn't do anything, I installed the printer and microsoft word UNINSTALLED ITSELF .. and i tried to uninstall the printer and it wouldn't let me and then I turned off the computer and when I turned it back on, it was just like that"

After I just stared at her for a minute .. I had to shake my head to clear the stupid out .. I said .. Jess, you had to have done something, you deleted something .. it doesn't just do that by itself .. .. .but she swore it did. Soooo, to humor my darling sister, I tried a few more things and finally just told her .. look ya gotta reformat it, 'cause it would take less time to do that than it will for me to fix all this crap. ..... so she says ok she'll do that, but that she has some memory she wants me to put in .. memory that she has FINALLY bought .. that she was supposed to get in March .. dear lord .. i have to do hardware again. She got a memory stick in March .. was supposed to get another one to match it 'cause the one wouldn't work by itself. She said she would .. in MARCH .. so we stuck the old memory back in there and she was supposed to take the new one to Staples and get the match.

soooo we fight with the case for ages 'cause SOMEONE .. has screwed the monitor plug in too tight and we can't get it off without pliers. finally get that off .. and I look in the case ... and there is no space for more memory (I've forgotten in the last few months what happened before and that the old ones had to go back in) .... so I yank one of them out and remember whats going on. So I ask her where the other new one is, 'cause she's only handed me the one she just bought.

~blank stare~

I'm thinking of using sign language to reach out and smack her in the head. She says .. ummm ...

it's never good when she does that.

she says she's been carrying around the old memory in her backpack .. since MARCH .. so that she would have it when she found the time to go to Staples ... she thinks it's the OLD memory .. but she was still gonna show it to them to get a match for the new memory *crosses eyes* her logic is a little skewed, but what can i do about it? ... so i'm listening to this, wondering how the hell she can be so book smart and have not one ounce of common sense at all. I have to stop her, 'cause she's now managed to confuse me ..

so I say .. Jess .. that was the NEW memory you were carrying around .. where is it? She says .. I threw it away 'cause I didn't need it anymore.

*slaps herself in the head* D'OH

She runs over to the trashcan .. and luckily it's still there. so now we're in business ... I yank out the old memory, slap in the new memory, plug everything in and ...

and ....

AND IT DOESN'T FRIGGIN WORK .. *grumbles* so i yank all the cords out, while giving her a sisterly lecture on how she's gonna have to learn to fix the damn computer herself 'cause i'm not gonna do it anymore if it's stupid shit like this ... she says that she'll learn when i quit coming to do it for her .. so i tell her now's the time .... take the case apart, make sure the memory is all plugged in correctly and all the cables are still plugged etc. .... still doesn't work .. and is making weird beeping noises .. like a time bomb, which I'm thinking is rather appropriate.

soooo I yank out the first new memory stick .. the one that has been riding in her backpack for months .. the one that has been out in the sun in the back of her car in the middle of the summer .. the one that obviously did not work to begin with ... 'cause after I took it out, the computer booted up .. kinda .. everything turned blue .. and now that i think about it, it never did boot up completely .. hmm .. anyway! ...

sooooooo, she has to go BACK to Staples now, get another stick .. and install it herself. I showed her how to do it .. told her I wasn't coming back unless she tried it herself first .. and maybe not even then 'cause it's so simple a monkey could do it. So she says she'll get it and install it herself ...

I'm figuring I'll get a call in October to come and do it for her.

from the queen of useless trivia

The electric chair was invented by a dentist
(that explains a lot)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(in my next life i wanna be a pig)

It is impossible to lick your elbow.
(ya know you're gonna try it)

'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words.

The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start
(still not over the pig)

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
(and obviously not a word the pig is familiar with ... does this mean Jiffy Lube is a liar?)

The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino

Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
(have 2 french fries and call me in the morning?)

If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and look like it is stinging itself to death. It spasms a lot. :)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(hi honey I'm home .... what the fuck?!?!??!)

Early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with a rope stretched across the bed frame. If the rope was tight, sleep was comfortable. Hence the phrase, "sleep tight."
(still wanna be a pig)

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to SLOW a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm

"Stewardesses", "reverberated", and "lollipop" are the longest words that can be typed using only one hand on a keyboard. "Skepticisms" is the longest word that alternates hands, while the longest word that can be typed using the top row only is "typewriter".

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class

All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
(anyone know what 4:20 stands for? I do)

55 per cent of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn. Reading about yawning makes most people yawn
(ya know that pig is yawning)

"The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
(have ya tried to lick your elbow yet?)

Phobatrivaphobia is a fear of trivia about phobias !!

During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance
(30 minutes .. damn lucky pig)

Julio Iglesias was a lawyer before he became a music star. Comedian John Cleese is a lawyer, too.
(kinda scary)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(don't try this at home .... work is better)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure
(.... what about the pig?)